separate but equal

yesterday, i went to kevin's girlfriend's apartment on park avenue for an american idol finale party. before heading over, i stopped by rite aid to pick up a six pack of stella. i arrive and tell the doorman what where i'm headed. as i enter the regular elevator, he yells and tells me to use the freight elevator. a bit confused, i complied nonetheless. you see, her apartment has an elevator operator, and i thought he told me to use the freight elevator because the button pressing guy was too lazy to come over. but i was wrong.

apparently, he mistook me for a delivery man. granted, i was dressed casually in jeans, flip-flops, my recently purchased triple 5 soul jacket (sample sale until 6/5/05, 24th st between 5th & 6th ave) and a hat cause it was raining. plus i was carrying a plastic back from rite aid with the beer that i guess could have been misconstrued for take out. but still, other than my skin tone, i would hardly say i looked like a delivery man. i wanted to confront him about it, not necessarily yell (because honestly, where does that get you), but unfortunately he had left by the time i had gotten back down.

after i got home, i was still bothered by the whole incident. it's been a while since i've experienced any racism or racial profiling (boston, prudential center, summer of 2000), and i'd frankly forgotten that it could still happen to me. but still, it was more than just the actual incident itself. i was more annoyed by feeling annoyed at what happened. i know i sound classist, but in some way, it felt like an affront towards everything i had done in my life. my family's not poor, but definitely not well off. while both of my parents are college-educated (in the philippines), they often had to take menial jobs due to their immigrant status. so yeah, i could've been a delivery man. but i'm not. luckily, i've been able to go to college and medical school, and not feel like such an outcast walking on park avenue. but all it took was one second, one glance, for this asshole to dismiss the last 9 years of my life and put me in my place. fucker.