grounded

haven't left my apartment all day and honestly don't feel like i'm missing much. the badgers lost to iowa, and game would've been cool, but would've been stuck with drunk girl/woman again. i guess i should recap. went out last night to a couple bars downtown and with my buddy, his gf and her awful, sad, desparate, very drunk friend. the bars were fine, typical for madison, but since the happy couple still make out like horny teenagers, i unfortunately spent the majority of the night stuck with the hag (not cute), listening to her talk about how she's hypersexual/loves her saggy breats/loves being naked, how watching our friends make out makes her want to make out (fuckin' nauseating), and actually watching her make out with my buddy's gf for attention (sad), motorboat my buddy (sad) and make out with an old man (really sad). plus i had to listen her talk about her fucking career and how she's all business and work and all play when she leaves, kinda like a mullet. she was absolutely awful and i'd rather stay home than deal with something like that again tonight. plus i'm leaving for san francisco next week and should save up some money for that.

fail

like those shoes above, i've failed. don't know when it was exactly that i became such a bad friend. you'd think that staying in new york for grad school would've kept me in touch with all those college people. to an extent, it did, for at least a couple years. then complacency set in and we all kinda drifted away. i'm reminded of just how poor a friend i've been each time a wedding passes without an invitation. i'm not gonna whine about it (but i guess i am already) and i'm not gonna call the waaahmbulance. all i can do now is try to be better.

homecoming

had the privlege of joining orbis (the flying eye hospital) on their recent trip to jaipur, rajasthan, india during the end of september. if you're indian or familiar with indians, that infuriating head-nod should look familiar. is it yes? is it no? is it maybe? i'm still not sure. it's like that episode on growing pains when mike seaver was trying to create the perfect hybrid T-F for his true false tests. anyway, had a time. kinda good, some bad things, many interesting things, but made me think. surprisingly kinda still jet-lagged, and going to sleep at 7 or 8 pm isn't helping me to adjust. i do like to travel but hate the actual travelling part. kinda sucks. on this latest trip, because of an eagerness to buy a ticket without looking at the itinerary, i ended up with ~15 hrs of layovers on the way over and maybe 7 hrs on the way back. each leg took 30+ hrs, which left me totally disoriented.

now back in madison. snow flurries earlier this morning made me seriously re-think my decision to come to the midwest and served as an omen of the hellish winter to come. missed emy's costume-themed birthday party today back in the jerz. hope it went well. hope other people worse costumes too, or else it would'be been a redux of that lumban association dinner dance when cheryl was the only person wearing a costume. embarssing but hilarious when it's not you.

thinking about heading back to ny soon. also thinking of my future. would love to be back there, but not sure if any of my friends will be left. the latest casualties are kevin, who might end up in arizona, and sabena, who will do a lil bit of locums oddly in arizona too. i generally don't ask for much, but i do want to be happy. need a sign.