3.29.2005

homeless genitalia

finished my last med school clerkship on friday and now just waiting for graduation in may. i was expecting it to be cathartic, but it turned out to be anything but. i didn't really react with any emotion. maybe i'm anhedonic, maybe it's cause i'm staying in the city for residency, or maybe i'm delirius because i haven't left my apartment for the last 48 hours studying for the boards (it's been raining). regardless, it does mean i won't have to be confronted with homeless genitalia for a while (two months, at least), which was at its peak in january on my dermatology rotation. maybe i'm naive, but i didn't realize that's what dermatologists had to do--a lot. you've never really lived until you've had a homeless man's penile shaft in your left hand and a cryogun (nitrogen gun) in your right asking him to move "your scrotum...huh?, your scrotum...what?...your balls" to the left so you can freeze his genital warts. good times.

anyway, it's a little sad how all the attendings and residents consistently refer to this (fourth year) as the best time of your life. makes me wish i could enjoy it more. i'd travel, i'd go out eating & drinking every night, but i'm poor. P-O-O-R, like tiffany from america's next top model of the "that stank ho poured beer on my weave!" fame. alright, we're not that bad. we're just a middle class family from suburban northern jersey. but unlike some of my classmates, we're not independently wealthy, i don't have a trust fund, and i can't ask daddy for a couple thousand dollars so i can explore china for a couple weaks or go surfing in hawaii until graduation. bitter? a little bit. resigned? yeah.